In the chapter “To Prevent Flare-Ups”, when Benji states, “we were a made for TV family” he clearly means and goes on to explain how his family use the TV as an avoidance mechanism, so that they can spend as little time communicating with each other as possible (Whitehead 207). But it is also interesting to explore the double meaning of this phrase, in which Benji’s family are the ones being broadcasted on TV. Benji admits at the beginning of the chapter that on paper, his family is pretty much perfect just as a family on TV would be. And in his perfect on paper family, Benji’s dad is clearly the ring leader. Benji’s father’s attitude toward having an “audience” (meaning the outside world) is strange, he seems to either enjoy the attention or at least not particularly care if the “audience” discovers the abuse that he dishes out, probably because he views his abuse as justified.
However, appearances do matter to the father in most other situations, which we see as he puts pressure on his family to keep them up in other ways. Examples of this include when is upset at Reggie for not doing great in some of his classes, and when he disapproves of both brothers being perceived as weak when they don’t fight back (although that is a bit more nuanced then I’m making it sound here), or even when he lectures Benji about making sure that he doesn’t marry a fat girl for the sake of appearances. At times he even seems to be performing for the benefit of others, like when he calls Reggie shithead for a while, I could see the same being done on a TV show (cue the laugh track after his shithead remarks), especially because he makes such a point of continuing to use the nickname even in Reggie’s absence.
Not only is the father involved in these theatrics, by extension his family must also be. With the father as the ringleader of the show, none of the other family members can say no to any of his demands nor can they stand up for themselves or each other. In many ways it is more important to Benji that no outsider discover his father’s mistreatment of him and the family, then it even is for the dad to hide away his anger behind closed doors. But to keep the peace as much as possible, Benji and the rest of the family follow a script to keep the peace. For example, before trying his father’s barbecue Benji thinks
when he called ‘Action!’ we hit our marks and delivered our lines… the scripts were all the same (232).
And sure enough, even though the barbecue was terrible Benji successfully delivered his line from the script to avoid any further problems with his father that day.
At the end of the chapter Benji thinks
no one cares about what goes on in other people’s houses… we delivered our lines in the darkness,
which is him realizing that for all of his dad’s performances, no one was actually paying attention to whether or not his family was “respecting” him, nor were they sympathetic towards the father when he has his outbursts for everyone to hear (232). Benji knows at this point that the script is really for no one other than his father’s benefit, and will only continue to meet his father’s expectations so long as they “prevent flare-ups” in his house. I think this is because while Benji feels a sense of relief (but also shame) every time ire is directed at someone other than him and he escapes notice, he knows that the best way to stop his siblings and mother from getting hurt in the first place is to prevent these flare ups as much as possible.
This is a really good way to think about the "made for TV" line. I had been reading the act they played as the perfect family they pretended to be for friends and neighbors but this really makes me think about it differently. I think Benji and the rest of the family play their parts in this charade part very well though. I did not expect the food to be terrible after the whole chapter of Benji talking about what a show it is for everyone and I was very caught off guard when Benji revealed the reality of the situation. Being forced to play along with his father has made Benji a good actor for the part.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea you present as the father being the ringleader in all of this. We see Benji so often worried about others hearing his family and seeing that they're not as perfect as they appear that he's kind of forced to play along to keep the charade of peace going. The way the chapter was written was beautiful with it's lush descriptions of events and memories that turned out to be false. That's how I imagine people see Benji's family. They hear stories of great barbeque and fun family vacations to the Hamptons but as insiders we can see that the chicken is burnt and all is not as it seems.
ReplyDeleteI agree! The Dad going through their life as if in a TV show or play is such an interesting conflict to have. It's pretty interesting to see how the media in general has been very present in the lives of the characters in this book, as gangster rap kind of emerges along with the kids' obsession with guns (in one scene Randy even shoots at NP's feet in an "Old West saloon fashion"). It's a big part of their culture.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your idea at the end about Ben's guilt at how to prevent getting the brunt of his father's anger, that anger has to be directed at someone else. This really reinforced for me your idea of the importance of all of them playing their parts well, even if it just for the benefit of Ben's father and no one outside their family is really watching the show.
ReplyDeleteI really love your take on the “made for TV family” line. This was really compelling to read, especially where you describe the father’s job as sort of the “director” or “writer” of this “TV show” in the Cooper household. I found your analysis of the father’s “performance” and audience interesting as well. He’s performing to establish his role in his family/the world, and maybe this could be compared to the dynamic sometimes between Benji and his friends where it’s all about “performance” for other people, especially during fights.
ReplyDeleteWhat this made me think of as well was in the chapter “Tonight We Improvise,” where Benji discusses how their old TV was not the same and how it would take forever to turn on, perhaps implying that this escape from family interaction with the TV wasn’t possible but also wasn't necessary at the time. Did this “made for TV family” idea potentially change over the years as the kids got older, and did the dynamics in their family shift since then? Benji describes how he used to feel safe when his happens were home, but now he seems pretty afraid and always bracing himself for the next “flare-up.” This idea of the family’s “script” and the role it plays in the behavior of the family members, however, really interested me the most, and I think this analysis of the chapter was so well defined. Thanks!