How Patient Am I?

Prompt: How good are you at waiting for what you really want?

When I was younger, primary and middle school age, I was completely obsessed with reading books. I could read any genre of story but my absolute favorite were fantasy adventure books like Percy Jackson and Harry Potter when I was younger and Throne of Glass when I was older. Many of the books I loved were in a series of 5 or more, which were much more fun because the world-building and character development in such a long story were often incredible to read. However, my parents were skeptical about some of my choices, Harry Potter in particular. They felt that as Harry aged in each book, the content also aged and was no longer appropriate for me to read as a 7 year old. Much to my horror, a rule was put in place forcing me to wait an entire year before I could read the next book, for all 7 of the books.

This was a disaster. I was used to reading book series that I loved in 2 weeks, not 6 years! So I started to break my parent’s rule. Sometimes when I went to a friend's house, I would spend some time reading one of the later books. I found my parents' secret stash of books and continued reading. I had no patience to wait a whole year, and the excitement of sneaking around and reading forbidden books was too enticing. It didn’t help that I felt my parent’s rule was completely unfair. 

But even though I didn’t have the patience to wait in accordance with the rules, I would call my sneaking a form of patience as well. I had to wait for my parents to leave the house in order to sneak a book from their secret stash, and then put it back in time. I waited until I had a longer playdate with a friend so that I could both read one of the books and also have time to spend with my friend. And in the end, it probably took me about half a year to make it through one book this way. The decision to sneak behind my parents' backs almost took more patience than just waiting a year and kind of forgetting about the book for the duration, although in reality my actions were driven by an impatience to read the books I loved.

What I really want has changed throughout the years and become more serious. These days I want things like a lead role in a ballet production or to get into a great college. Unlike with my parents, I am not able to game the system anymore to get what I want (that is unless I start bribing people or something). And for some reason, I don’t have as much of a problem waiting for what I want anymore.

One of the things I found most unfair about my parents’ rule was how unmoving it was. It didn’t matter what I did, how “mature” I got during that year of waiting, the waiting period would never decrease. Today, I find that the things that are important to me almost always respond to how much effort I put into them. Just sitting and waiting for my goals to fall into my lap is not a good strategy, and when I want something I am good at working for it, no matter how long it takes. I kind of did the same thing with those Harry Potter books. No matter how long it took, I was determined to read those books behind my parents' backs and put in work to accomplish that. 

So the truth is, I am not good at just waiting. I always put pressure on myself to do something else that helps me reach my goals. But is that really such a bad thing?